The way I see it(some pet peeves, annoyances, ect)

This goes out to a lot of females and I'm not going to target any particular ones..okay..sometimes I target army wives and thats just because I been around them for far too long and long enough to know their immature tyrants. 

One thing in particular I have issues with is females and their weight problems.  If you are under a size 10 and think you have to stay under just to make your man happy you have insecurity issues..if your man agrees that you should, he's a douchebag who deserves to get kicked in his balls.

I struggled with my weight for years.  During the last half of my failed marriage I was up to 250 lbs and probably did look horridly disgusting to my husband at the time(me attempting sex was failed numerous times mind you).  Yes, I know there is a difference between morbidly obese and curvy..I was just gross...

But...

If your man loves you enough he won't care if you gained some weight.  He should support your goals though but not force you to stay under a certain weight or dress size.  The average size of a woman is around 14-16 which was Marilyn Monroe's dress size and men loved and adored her.  If a guy doesn't like a woman that size he needs a reality check and fast.  I knew some guys who say "If I wanted to date a female who has the body of a 10 year old boy, I'd date the 10 year old boy"

Gross analogy really but we get the point.

Point being is this:

A real man loves curves and loves a woman who gains some weight but loves her body nonetheless..us women will gain and lose weight all our lives, we need to embrace that fact and find men who embrace it also.  The shallow men can all live on their imaginary planet with fake women who they can break in half when they have sex with them. 

Just saying.

Music Monday

I am addicted to this song, the words remind me of my last relationship..

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Yoga, meditation, and things that better your mind

The weekend of my birthday was a huge downfall for me, my anxiety and stress were through the roof, not to mention my dad was coming home for a couple weeks.  I had been feeling really tense and felt like I was out of control, I didn't know who I was in my own skin or was comfortable in it.  I canceled my own birthday party because my anxiety was so strong I felt paralyzed, I didn't get out of bed pretty much the whole weekend, thankfully the kids were at their dads that time.

I forgot about yoga and meditation.  I been doing so much research on this condition I been having since I was about 17 that I did try but I wasn't practicing like I should.  I got in touch with a friend of mine who is earthy and talked to her, she said it helped her tremendously.  I also been looking at other forums and seeing that there were other people like me having the same feelings and same downfalls as me, the feelings like you are going to die, losing control, having multiple diseases and sicknesses.  We don't realize it that our mind makes up things and we just let it control us and in fact, we have to control our own mind. 

I suffered from driving anxiety for years, it felt like I had no freedom or independence.  My husband at the time had to drive everywhere, I could drive short distances but I still had the anxiety the whole time.  It took most of my life.  I felt like I couldn't do anything and when you don't have that control it takes over your whole body.  People who never experienced what I did for years don't understand what I went through.  I feared a lot.  I avoided things because I feared I would have another anxiety attack.  I couldn't enjoy things with my family for that same fear. 

I'm now trying to control these emotions through yoga and meditation.  I try to avoid negative things and I try to tell myself that life is about taking risks, enjoying life, and not hiding from the world.

After I lost weight and got divorced my anxiety lessened but recently with all the stress and 2 kids and living with my mom its been insane.  I still don't have my life back.  I been doing a lot of research and talking to others with the same condition to try and help me get my life back and do things I wouldn't normally do.  I would like to find people in this area that have the same problems and help deal with these emotions.

I pray that God will help me get better and to show me that life is about living, not fearing.